miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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