Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
