I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
