Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dicks are not precious.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
