I bet he comes in French.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
