HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
