I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize