I wish I could punch you in the face.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
