Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
