How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
