i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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