dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
