we're chasing vodka with high fives
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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