She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
