bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
