i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize