love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
