When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
