i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
