I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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