evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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