I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
