We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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