So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My breasts were aching with rage.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize