Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
