some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize