Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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