it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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