Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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