Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't tell me you're on acid again
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
