Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
