You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
