This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
