i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
