I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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