Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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