Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
