all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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