i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
