so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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