Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
