her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
