We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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