Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize