The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
