there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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