You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
