Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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