Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
