haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
