She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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