anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
