I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
