i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize