Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
