Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize