idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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