Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
