# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
