We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
