so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
