Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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