She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
